1) Never plan on the “last one.” If you do, everything will go wrong on that one.
2) Deer are not as cute or pleasant as their name implies.
3) You don’t have to cover yourself in deer urine to kill one. But you do have to be awake really early in the morning.
4) While Virginia State Police are real testy about radar detectors, they don’t give a flip about those “must have 2 headlight” laws.
5) When you cross county lines, the easiest way to find out if it’s a speed trap is to drive 5 miles/hour under the speed limit for the 5 miles. If cops come out of the woodwork to pull over the cars that pass you, it’s a speed trap. Drive the limit for the rest of the way. If not, make up for lost time.
6) Waffle House hash browns, nay any food consumed at 3am, tastes better when surrounded by friends.
7) There is, unfortunately, such a thing as "too deaf to hear emergency vehicles". Or the "music that is up too loud".
8) Make sure your shotgun rider is awake.
9) Even Stupid Johnny Stupid Cougar Stupid Mellencamp’s stupid song about puberty will keep you awake if you sing it loud enough.
10) Caffeine is a gift from God.
11) If you hear a Fleetwood Mac song, chances are higher it’s a stupid easy listening station rather than a good rock station.
12) Elton John, too.
13) Billy Joel is a crapshoot.
14) It’s easier to share the road with professional truck drivers at 4am than it is with minivan driving soccer moms or guys who are up for work at 5. Yes, the hour really does make a difference.
15) I think work zone speed limits should have posted hours. There is no reason why I have to drive 35 miles/hour for 5 miles at 2am when workers aren’t there and I already went over the one lane bridge that’s dangerous.
16) I think I should have bought a car phone charger. I would have really flown through those unlimited night minutes.
17) Always have a bottle of water. You never know when you’ll get thirsty.
18) Virginia State Police don’t care about public urination on the side of the highway, either.
19) Dark Side of the Moon is really a great album. There’s more on it than just Money, stupid DJ.
20) Even though they can’t hear or understand it, screaming obscenities at the car in front of you, or giving every deer or deer crossing sign you see the finger does make you feel better about it.
21) If I hear 25 or 6 to 4 one more time, I’m gonna puke.
22) Every vehicle can go 65. You have to want it to, though.
23) I’m sick of McDonald’s being the only 24 hour fast food place. Step up, Burger King.
24) In a pinch, Dr. Drew answering questions from herpes ridden 16 year olds is worth listening to.
25) In the style of Andrew Bernard. Don't Bring Me Down by ELO. Complete with hand motions. "Nailed it." Yes, I did.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.